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Top 30+ Ron Swanson Hilarious Quotes & Sayings (February. 2018)

The hilarious collection of Ron Swanson quotes & sayings, which you want to share or use on your Instagram captions.

Ron Swanson Quotes 2018

1.
I was never here, and you will never speak of this again.Ron Swanson
2.
For what it’s worth, I think you would make an incredible brunette.Ron Swanson
3.
I broke it…..it burned my hand, so I punched it.Ron Swanson
4.
There is no street parking at my house. My house isn’t even on a street.Ron Swanson
5.
I came here for the same reason people go to the zoo…….look at that thing.Ron Swanson
6.
The less I know about other peoples affairs, the happier I am. I’m not interested in caring about people.
Ron Swanson
7.
Everything I do is the attitude of an award winner because I’ve won an award.Ron Swanson
8.
Stillness: Don’t waste energy moving unless necessary.Ron Swanson
9.
Crying: Acceptable at funerals and the grand canyon.Ron Swanson
10.
After i got home, i drank six more glasses of whiskey and then i finished crafting this mall harp, using a bandsaw, a spokeshave  and an oscillating spindle sander.Ron Swanson
11.
Be proud of yourself. You deserve an award. Not this one, obviously. This one belongs to me. But some other one. Some other lesser award.Ron Swanson
12.
Facial hair: Full, thick and square. Nothing sculpted. If you have to sculpt it, that probably means you can not grow it.Ron Swanson
13.
When i am done eating a mulligan’s meal, for weeks afterwards there are flecks of meat in my moustache and i refuse to clean it because every nnow and then a piece of meat eill fall into my mouth.Ron Swanson
14.
B.O: Cultivating a manly musk puts your opponents on twice.Ron Swanson
15.
Fish, for sport only, not for meat. Fish meat is practically a vegetable.Ron Swanson
16.
Its never too early to learn that the government is a¬† greedy piglet that suckles on a taxpayer’s teet until they have sore, chappled nipples.Ron Swanson
17.
I have been quite open about this around the office, I don’t want to parks department to build any parks, because i don’t believe in government.Ron Swanson
18.
Buffets: whenever available. Choose quantity over quality.Ron Swanson
19.
America: the only country that matters. If you want to experience other cultures, use an atlas or a ham radio.Ron Swanson
20.
Haircut’s, there are three acceptable haircuts: High and tight, crew cut, buzz cut.Ron Swanson
21.
Capitalism: God’s way of determining who is smart, who is poor.Ron Swanson
22.
My name is Ron, You don’t need to know my last name.Ron Swanson
23.
Leslie has never broken a rule in her life, To the point that it’s annoying.Ron Swanson
24.
Body Grooming: Only women shave beneath the neck.Ron Swanson
25.
The whole point of this country is if you want to eat garbage, ballon up to 600 pounds and die of a heart attack at 43, You can! you are free to do so. To me that’s beautiful.Ron Swanson
26.
Poise: Sting like a bee. Do not flight like a butterfly. That’s ridiculous.Ron Swanson
27.
An ideal night out is stepping onto my porch area and grilling up a thick slab of spmething’s flesh.Ron Swanson
28.
When people get a little too chummy with me i like to call them by the wrong name to tell them know i don’t really care about them.Ron Swanson
29.
The whole thing is a scam. Birthdays were invented by Hallmark to sell cards.Ron Swanson
30.
There is no such things as bad weather, Only inadequate clothing and methods of transportation. Ron Swanson
31.
I once worked with a man for three years and never got to know his name. Best friend i ever had.Ron Swanson
32.
Perspiration: Only sweat during physical activity or love making. No emotional sweating.Ron Swanson
33.
On my deathbed, my final wish is to havemy ex-wives rush to my side, so i can use my dying breath to tell them both to go to hell one last time.Ron Swanson

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